Navigating the Path to Neurodiversity: Getting Your Child Assessed

When you first suspect that your child might be neurodiverse, it can be an emotional journey filled with uncertainty, concern, and hope. For many parents, the process of getting a child assessed for potential neurodiversity, such as ADHD, can be both a relief and a challenge. (I won’t even attempt to address the challenges of getting a diagnosis in the UK, where waiting times are years or you have to pay thousands of pounds for a private assessment.) I recently went through this with my son, who was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD (both inattentive and hyperactive). Even though I had my suspicions, hearing the official diagnosis still took some time to process.

Brain schematic in white on grey background with the word 'ADHD' written underneath

The Emotional Journey of a Diagnosis

Receiving a diagnosis is a significant moment. It brings clarity and answers to many of the questions you might have been asking yourself. However, it also comes with a range of emotions. You might feel relief at finally understanding what’s been going on, but you might also need time to adjust to this new reality. It's okay to feel a mix of emotions—this is a big step for both you and your child.

For my husband and me, the best part about having a diagnosis is that it has brought a new level of patience and understanding towards our son. Where we might have been frustrated in the past—like when he struggled to go upstairs and get dressed—we now understand that these challenges are part of his ADHD. This shift in perspective has helped us to approach these situations with more compassion.

Understanding the Impact of ADHD

ADHD, particularly the combined type, affects several aspects of a child's life, especially their executive functioning skills. These are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and manage multiple tasks. For children with ADHD, these skills often don’t come as easily. This can lead to struggles with everyday tasks, like getting ready for school or completing homework.

Before the diagnosis, it was easy to feel confused or concerned about why our son struggled with certain tasks. But with the understanding that ADHD is at play, we now see these behaviours through a different lens. It’s not that our son isn’t trying—he simply needs more support to accomplish them.

Building a Scaffolding System

One of the most effective strategies we've implemented since the diagnosis is building a scaffolding system to support our son’s executive functioning skills. Just as scaffolding supports a building as it’s being constructed, this system provides the structure and guidance he needs to develop his skills gradually.

This can include simple but effective strategies like:

• Creating visual schedules to help him understand and remember his daily tasks. We use a little blackboard in his bedroom where he can tick off task from the evening routine. Another example is that we use a cardboard ‘window system’ where the main tasks of the morning (breakfast, getting dressed & brushing teeth, playtime & leaving the house) each have a window which he opens and closes as he goes through them.

• Breaking down tasks into smaller, manageable steps, perhaps reducing the steps, to avoid overwhelming him. For example, rather than asking him to go upstairs and get dressed I tell him that I’ll meet him upstairs where I then help him get dressed.

• Setting up reminders and cues or using visual timers to help him stay on track. For example, we use a visual timer set to 15 minutes for homework. This helps him know that after the 15 minutes are up he can go and play.

• Creating ‘challenges’ for him to get some extra motivation. For example, I put on his favourite tune and challenge him to get dressed before it ends (he’d do anything to be first! 😆)

My son checking off the tasks on his chalkboard before bed

By building these supports into his daily routine, we’re helping him develop the skills he needs to become more independent, while also enabling us to function better as a family team, moving forward with less overall frustration.

Reassurance from the Experts

What was particularly reassuring for us was that, when we spoke with the child psychiatrist, they recommended many of the strategies we had already been implementing. Suggestions like limiting distractions around mealtime, reducing screen time, maintaining a consistent routine, and prioritising sleep were all things we had been consciously working on. Knowing that we were already on the right track provided us with a sense of confidence and validation in our approach.

Moving Forward with Patience and Understanding

The journey of raising a neurodiverse child is ongoing. It requires patience, flexibility, and a willingness to adapt as you learn more about your child’s needs. But with the right support system in place, both at home and at school, your child can thrive.

If you’re considering getting your child assessed for potential neurodiversity, know that you’re not alone. The process can be daunting, but the benefits of understanding your child’s unique needs make it worth it. And remember, a diagnosis is not a label—it’s a tool that helps you better understand and support your child on their path to growth and success.